Listen: I'm sick, so bear with me. And not sick like somebody who will eat food off the ground, sick like on meds and my brain feels like a cloud. It's even harder to think than normal (which was already near impossible). This is a video tutorial by Youtuber CrazyRussianHacker (arguably one of the most dangerous men in the world) of how to open a can without any tools. The secret? Rubbing the top on concrete to expose where the top and body of the can are joined, then giving the thing a nice firm squeeze. BOOM -- tuna. I suppose it's a little neater than repeatedly smashing the can on the ground until it explodes, but some of us don't mind eating off the ground. "I thought you just said you weren't sick like that." Haha, I am ALWAYS sick like that. I'm just bonus sick right now.
Keep going for the video, then go home and impress your roommates with your new zombie apocalypse survival skill.
Thanks to David, A.R. and Lana, who agree the coolest thing about zombie apocalypse survival skills is never having to perfect them BECAUSE IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.