Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Finally: Male Chastity Belts w/ Chrome & Camo Finishes

male-chastity-thingies-in-chrome-and-camo.jpg

The weight of that lock alone would tear my penis off!

Are you a dude? Are you a dude who's been itching to lock away his privates but hasn't found a pecker locker with the right finish yet? Well the wait is over, because CB-X ("the world leader in male chastity") has you covered with a new designer collection featuring chrome, camo and wood finishes (sorry, no Spongebob Squarepants one yet). My penis? My penis already has a wood finish. Get it? "Oh, we get it." I don't think you do -- I'm an Ent.

Male chastity devices restrict a man from touching his genitals for sexual pleasure. The male chastity device gives the Keyholder control over the sexual fulfillment of both partners by denying the wearer the touch he has had all of his life. His focus is now on when he can experience sexual gratification, and the Keyholder has complete control over the wearer's pleasure. This denied access means the wearer must please the Keyholder in order to receive the pleasure he craves.

I don't even want to think of what sort of sick redneck fantasies involve a camo penis clamp, but I can imagine. I can also imagine them serving an actual purpose. Think about it: you're camping in the woods, a bear wanders by, AND WANTS A PIECE OF THAT. But, wait a minute -- your penis is invisible! BOOM, crisis averted.

Thanks to TBTMH, who told me the best chastity belt isn't a belt at all -- they're suspenders. Really? I heard it was a bolo tie.

There are Comments.
  • Shawna Fields

    LMAO “I don't even want to think of what sort of sick redneck fantasies involve a camo penis clamp, but I can imagine.” That’s so funny, and So True. Hahahaa I just read an article about this device too that says that male chastity is a new fad and that male orgasm control is erotic https://www.slixa.com/under-co... I guess I can understand how having this thing on your cock would make you think about your dick all day and make you want to have sex more. But honestly! My man has no problem thinking about sex or holding out to give me several orgasms before he lets loose; although I am adventurous and would be willing to try this thing out (NOT THE CAMO ONE) if he was in to it. But I really think it would be a ~hard~ sell overall.

  • Daniel Brown

    Those are all WAY TOO SMALL!

  • Ian Garvey

    Would hurt to get a boner wearing one of those. lol

  • BeastmanAIDS

    I'm more alarmed about the PA-5000(TM) in the corner... it appears to secure onto your dick via the fixed hook on the end going through your knob hole.

  • RiotDemon

    Look up a Prince Albert, then you'll understand.

  • BeastmanAIDS

    I know precisely what a Prince Albert is - hence my alarm.

  • catallergy

    I'm assuming the slot in the front is for pissing out of? I can imagine getting slightly... disorganized in there, and piss just splashing back on me.

  • David A.B.

    Wouldn't the camo design be a skin tone?

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Not if you're crouching naked in the bush!

  • Chris Baker

    Wha....I just...WHY!?!?!?!?!?!

  • Hahaha..lovely. I'm a key holder for the one who lost their key...tusk tusk;) lol

  • Larry Olson

    Lost my key. I'VE LOST MY FCKING KEY.

  • I'll take wood for my wood

  • Soylent Green Is People

    Ahahaha @ the camo version.

    WHERE'D IT GO?!

  • ▲Samy قائد

    that site awesome

blog comments powered by Disqus