Because it's been Christmas season since mid-October, here's an animated Stegosaurus Christmas lawn ornament. The $140 dino's neck and tail move as he spreads Christmas cheer throughout the neighborhood, at least until some young punks steal it and set it on fire in the woods. You little shits are getting coal this year! That's exactly why people in my neighborhood can't have nice things. Or anything for that matter. You know how many times my mailbox has been stolen this year alone? "I'm really hoping zero." TRY ZERO TIMES SIX. "That's still zero." Oh, well the answer's five.
Thanks to Steph, who agrees it's time I take my medicine and drool in front of after-school cartoons for awhile. Good call.