After studying two separate DNA hair samples found at opposite ends of the Himalayas, University of Oxford geneticist Bryan Sykes has claimed that Yetis might actually exist, and be the hybrid decedent of an ancient species of polar bear. I mean, I'm pretty skeptical, but you've got to keep the dream alive or you wake up, and awake sucks.
[The DNA was] compared with other animals' genomes stored on a database of all published DNA sequences. Professor Sykes found a 100 per cent match with a sample from an ancient polar bear jawbone found in Svalbard, Norway.
Professor Sykes believes that the animals are hybrids - crosses between polar bears and brown bears. Because the newly identified samples are from creatures which are recently alive, he thinks the hybrids are still living in the Himalayas.
The sample from Ladakh came from the mummified remains of a creature shot by a hunter around 40 years ago. He considered the animal so unusual, and so alarming, he kept some of its remains. The second sample was in the form of a single hair, found in a bamboo forest by an expedition of filmmakers, also around ten years ago.
Professor Sykes added: "This is a species that hasn't been recorded for 40,000 years. Now, we know one of these was walking around ten years ago. And what's interesting is that we have found this type of animal at both ends of the Himalayas. If one were to go back, there would be others still there."
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "We mount an expedition and go shoot one of these f***ers?" What? No. I was going to say we go find this Brian Sykes character and rough him up a bit until he admits that he's lying. "The government approach." It'll be a whole lot easier than actually finding a Yeti, I can tell you that.
Thanks to Laura, abe, Scissorcake and JD, who are already packing their snowshoes and rifles.