Hmm, yell at dog or take a picture?
According to a recent study conducted at Georgia Tech by people who spent way too much time squatting behind different mammals filming them pee, all mammals urinate for the same duration -- about 21-seconds. Me? I've clocked over a minute during a solid night of drinking and sort of pinching my penis in the middle to slow the flow. "That can't be good for you." NO PAIN, NO GAIN.
Male or female, small bladder or big bladder, it doesn't matter. Elephants, farm animals, dogs and any mammal above a kilogram in weight require a similar time frame to relieve themselves, give or take 13 seconds.
As for an elephant, the researchers explain in the video above that the animal's wider and longer urethra compensates for the huge volume the animal must discharge -- that gives the liquid more room to flow and generates greater gravitational pull to increase the speed, Dr. David Hu, assistant professor of biology at Georgia Tech, told The Huffington Post.
Wait -- give or take 13-seconds? That's a pretty serious standard deviation. That said, one time I saw one of those horses that pulls a carriage pee in the road and it looked like somebody had just opened a fire hydrant. It definitely didn't smell like somebody had just opened a fire hydrant though.
Keep going for a video of a bunch of slow-motion captures of animals peeing because yes, they really f***ing did that.
Thanks to BAR, Travis and Hugh, who all push really hard and try to be in and out of bathroom in less than 20 seconds. Cool, BUT YOU BETTER STILL WASH YOUR HANDS.