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Shreddies: Flatulence Odor Blocking Underwear

odor-proof-underwear.jpg

Not in a million years, I don't care if it's true they smell like potpourri.

Shreddies are his and hers underwear that have a layer of chemical warfare suit tested 'Zorflex' activated carbon in the rear that neutralizes the rotten smell of a fart before it offends your date. They doesn't do anything for the sound though, so be sure to lift and separate your buttcheeks for a silent delivery. Also, it wouldn't hurt to double check you're actually wearing Shreddies and not novelty Christmas boxers because those aren't going to do a f***ing things. Women's models start at $30, men's at $40, and apparently the carbon is reactivated every time you wash them. No word if they're washed with other clothes whether those will all come out smelling like ass, so I suggest only washing them with your roommate's bath towels until we know for certain.

Thanks to Peterman, who doesn't believe in wearing underwear. Yeah, me neither! "You sure you're not just saying that because you ran out clean boxers?" Now that's none of your business.

There are Comments.
  • zin

    It's gonna be 1 year since this article & I'm yet to hear of any shit/piss-filtering undies. Like in Dune.

  • Bubbubsky

    Somebody get that chick a cheeseburger. Yeesh.

  • Guest

    Yeah, expect a call from Nestle for trademark violations.

  • lorrrd

    WARNING WARNING ! Alien approach ... hmm nope
    Spoiler: (save 10 ys of dumbing pseudo-science!)
    -these fancy nano-tech-clothes are really satanist crap ! With particles ... smaller than human cells > they make it right in2 your body & yet no1 knows the consequences !!
    ( `cept GW )
    So - never wear anti-smell-sweat-stain-soul-armor !!! Never !!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Models have weird jobs sometimes, don't they? He got paid to jam his nose right into her ass crack, and it's fine. When I pay a woman to jam her nose into my ass crack, it's prostitution.

    Double standards for the beautiful people!

  • DEṂ

    What if you're allergic to farts? Wil you still sneeze? http://dem.fm/Skleenex

  • Superior_Joe

    I'm pretty sure I could defeat these using only my body and a six pack of Genny Cream Ale.

  • Are the men's more expensive because they have to be heavy duty?

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Probably because their underwear are bigger.

  • mine's bigger in the front! I have to turn my underwear around and wear it butt first to hold in them bad boys.

  • ben

    id sniff her ass :)

  • CawaLimon

    The creepy-ass profile pic brings the comment to a whole other level

  • ben

    mmmmm :-{D

  • Azariel_z

    Dirty Sanchez, oh noes...

  • Melly

    HAHAHAHAHA oh my god, AMAZING XD

  • lolwutzzzzzz

    This takes all the fun out of crop dusting.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    OR you could not eat chili-beans before going on your date...

  • Superior_Joe

    Yes because that's the only time people fart is from eating "chili-beans."

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