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Bringing A Knife To A Gunfight: Convenience Store Clerk Chases Away Gun-Toting Robber With A Machete

machete-vs-gun.jpg

PROTIP: Get the date fixed on your security camera, this isn't your grandma's VCR.

This is the security camera footage from a convenience store in Brentwood, New York featuring a masked robber waving a gun in the attendant's face and demanding all the money. Remember the first thing they teach you in Gunfights 101? "Never bring a knife to one." Well apparently this clerk was absent that day or considers his machete more of a sword than a knife, because he unsheathes that f***er, and, after slapping it on the counter once for good measure, chases dude out of the store and across an empty parking lot. Personally, if that were me I would have thrown the machete at him and lodged it perfectly in his back the way you see in movies. Then, as he's laying there dying, I'd pull his mask off to reveal my own face and realize this has all been a dream because there's no way in hell I'm doing anything but shitting my pants somebody is pointing a gun at me.

Keep going for the video, including the chase across the parking lot.

Thanks to Dan and Side Effect, who don't even need machetes, they would have just chased him down karate chopping.

There are Comments.
  • chris

    That was a freaking BB gun. It wasn't even a .22. LOL Robbery fail

  • Adonay Gonzalez

    Pride of El Salvador XD

  • Ezekial

    Gun was fake.

  • Bling Nye

    A well known phrase is "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight."

    A less well known phrase is "Don't bring a fake gun to a knife fight."

  • Azariel_z

    he probably realized was just a Kid and would go panic...

  • JamesHaswell

    If you're going to keep a machete around for protection.... why keep it sheathed?

  • chris

    Keeping a blade out in the open is not a good idea. They should be sheathed and oiled so that they don't rust and/or hurt someone, like Sarah wrote.

    I heart blades

    Guns are for pussies, blades are much more manly and personal

  • allergicturtle

    It prevents rust, un-needed injury.

  • Antrozous

    Maybe it was just me but he got the upper hand on the robber with that dramatic movement of unsheathe the machete...

  • Mason Miller

    After the would-be robber got away, he looked down at the gun in his hand and went, "Oh... oh yeah..."

  • Jeremy Tilton

    In related news, Machete Kills slices into theaters 11 October.

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