Where Do I Sign Up?: NASA Will Pay You $1,200 A Week To Lay In Bed All Day

September 25, 2013


Wow, those might be the saddest 'Get Well' balloons of all time.

To test better ways of acclimating space travelers back to life on earth (read: with gravity), NASA is looking to pay individuals up to $1,200 a week to lay in bed all day. That's like, my dream world. Well, provided I have an automatic chocolate milk dispenser and Netflix.

A study to be conducted by NASA is looking for people to lie in a tilted bed for 70 days. The bed will be slanted at an angle of 6 degrees and is meant to help researchers develop methods that will allow astronauts returning from space missions to physically adjust to daily life. Because gravity is virtually nonexistent in space, astronauts use less energy when going about their daily routines. Therefore, they have a harder time getting used to regular life on Earth after they land.

Test subjects will be split into two groups: one that will spend 105 days living at NASA's Flight Analogs Research Unit (FARU) and be required to undergo different resistance and aerobic exercises while still on bed rest, and another that will spend 97 days simply lying in bed without any exercise. Since the subjects are required to be in a horizontal position throughout the study, a modified shower and bathroom will be provided when nature calls.

Whoa whoa whoa -- I better not be in the group required to do exercise in bed. Because there's only one kind of exercise I like to do in bed -- hip thrusting. I'm talking about having sex. And I'm talking about it on the back of the bus too, so if one of the field trip chaperones asks what we're talking about you better tell them Pokemon.

Thanks to Inky Bloc and danielle, who agree bed tester has got to be one of the best jobs in the world provided you're not testing beds of nails or shitty blow-up mattresses.

  • Are you sharing a bed with somebody hot?

  • Guest

    At 168 hours per week, $1200 is only $7.14 per hour...

  • Guest

    Not a good choice if you're in a relationship...unless you can share the bed.

  • 18 grand to get bed sores, eat space food, and let your muscles deteriorate? I'm in.

  • Applied! Laying in bed all day might be damaging to me but it might help cure my party-it is-alcoholism!

  • Lollerskates

    I honestly think I could do this I'm unemployed and I figure I could just get really high all day. then it wouldn't be all that bad.

  • Enif

    WARNING: Read about the risks and hazards of undergoing this study. There is risk of suffering irreversible damage to your body, remember that the point of this study is to do some research into the PROBLEMS of living in a zero G environment.

  • WhiteEagle2

    At 105 days and 1200 a week, that would be $18,000. Not too shammy.


    Wait. Do you have to eat hospital food for all 70 days too? Because that might be a deal breaker for me.
    Actually... I'm pretty sure I ate tortilla chips dipped in yogurt for dinner last night- so...crap. Yeah, I guess I'd do it.

  • Bahaha, rad.

  • Martykus

    Already applied

  • Melissa

    dream job.... quite possibly, literally.

  • Is the part where you get to shit in a bed pan for 3 months straight a positive or a negative?

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