KFC Colonel Spewing Ketchup Blood From Eyes & Mouth
Me: OMG Colonel -- what's happening?!
The Colonel: EAT MOR CHIKIN!
Me: Wait -- did you just steal that from Chik-Fil-A?
The Colonel: I will serve your flesh to my minions Original Recipe® style.
Me: F*** this, I'm going to Taco Bell.
Thanks to khz and lebeeps, who agree the best fast food chain isn't a chain at all -- it's a friendship bracelet.