Have Your Ashes Shot Into Low Earth Orbit For $2,000
When you die, what do you want done with your body? I want mine thrown into the lion pit at the zoo without warning on school field trip day. Those kids are gonna grow up DECENT. Space more your thing? No worries, because for $1,990 Elysium Space (no relation to the movie) will contract to have a very tiny container of your ashes (along with a bunch of other people's) launched into low earth orbit, where they will circle earth for a couple months up to several years before burning up in the atmosphere the way your spirit always dreamed of. Plus your relatives can track your afterlife voyage using a mobile app. He's flying over the house now, everybody wave! Looking for a more moderately priced space memorial? I'll stir your ashes into some pool water and use a Super Soaker to shoot you as high as I can.
Thanks to PYY, who wants to be shot into the sun. SAME.