In damning news for my future, scientists have successfully fermented used coffee grounds to create a 40% alcohol booze that smells and tastes like coffee but gets you drunk and makes you not show up for work in the morning. I can see it now:
Boss: Where's GW? We're supposed to have a meeting in ten minutes.
Worker: Haven't you heard? They invented coffee booze.
Boss: God almighty. Post an application for his job online.
Thanks to Pyrblaze, who agrees if there's one thing people should drink more of in the morning, it's definitely not booze.