First Lab-Grown Hamburger Gets Taste Tested In London

August 5, 2013


Mmmmmm, it looks like little worms -- let me try it raw.

Scientists took muscle cells from a cow, lab-cultured billions and billions more of them, mushed them all into a patty, then cooked it like a hamburger. How did it taste? Kinda like a burger! CRAZY. *stuffs mouth full of cocktail weenies, zip-lines off of balcony into street, tries to lift manhole cover, it's way heavier than I expected, gets laughed at and called a Ninja Tardle*

An independent study found that lab-grown beef uses 45% less energy than the average global representative figure for farming cattle. It also produces 96% fewer greenhouse gas emissions and requires 99% less land.

Upon tasting the burger, Austrian food researcher Ms Ruetzler said: "I was expecting the texture to be more soft... there is quite some intense taste; it's close to meat, but it's not that juicy. The consistency is perfect, but I miss salt and pepper."

She added: "This is meat to me. It's not falling apart."

Food writer Mr Schonwald said: "The mouthfeel is like meat. I miss the fat, there's a leanness to it, but the general bite feels like a hamburger.

Hey, whatever works. They're gonna have to seriously ramp up production and lower costs (it cost over $300K to make this one) though because nobody's gonna pay a thousand bucks for a McPetridish. A McBunsenburger, MAYBE. That was a lab equipment joke. "Not a very good one." Just drown me in the chemical shower, I deserve it.

Hit the jump for several more shots including the taste testers putting bites in their mouths with regretful looks on their faces.






Thanks to koyote kid and dr venkman, who agree if there's something strange in your neighborhood DO NOT ASSUME IT'S FOOD AND TRY TO EAT IT.

  • RDarker

    Soylent green next?

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Let's make meat from human stem cells. I want my Soylent Green.

  • VelvetRingpiece

    For a site about tech and stuff, it seems odd it wasn't mentioned that this whole thing was bankrolled by Sergey Brin.

  • Closet Nerd

    McBunsenburger! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Daisy Church

    just going to leave this here.... (sorry for the crap quality, only video I could find of this awesome scene. They're talking about lab created meat, specifically)

  • ZerglingPack

    Now I'm wondering, if they got people to eat the burger that didn't know they were eating a lab grown burger would the people still feel like something is missing?

  • RGB

    Almost certainly not, in blind tests people very rarely can tell the difference as long as it isn't in a test environment and you are not informed, i.e if this just got served in a restaurant, I bet no one would notice or say a thing.

  • I'd imagine this would happen:

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Before I clicked on your link, I was hopeful that it was the video I was thinking of, and you did not disappoint.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Interesting how they hide the fact that it is grown bathed in antibiotics and hormones calling them "growth-promoting chemicals"

  • Reryn

    I'm sorry to have to tell you this.. but meat has hormones in it. Meat also has antibiotics in it unless you only eat free range cattle.... but if you're eating free range cattle enjoy the effects of trichinosis, heart worms and various other bacteria and organisms!!!

    Minute traces of hormones and antibiotics will not hurt you or endanger your life... especially if you eat meat only a couple of times a week like you're supposed to.

    Hormones are chemicals and they can be used used to promote growth. To say their definition is misleading should only concern idiots who shouldn't be making their own life decisions anyways.

    Education, peer reviewed science, common fucking sense... get some.

  • Tyler AitchKay

    disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z status:
    [ ] Not Told
    [X] Told

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Now tell me, would eat meat produced with MASSIVE AMOUNTS of growth hormone, would that be a problem for you? The answer is no, and I know why. Can you explain why?

  • Tyler AitchKay

    The effects the hormones in the meat are severely diminished by the time it's cooked properly

    On top of that I really think you're out of your element, donny.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    The real reason is that growth hormone is a peptide hormone with a half life of less than one hour.
    1. By being a peptide eating it would do nothing since, unlike steroids, it doesn't cross cell membranes and is destroyed by digestion
    2. Such short half life means that even if the animal was injected with growth hormone the day before the it was killed it would already be free of growth hormone.

    You should get some real medical books if you are so interested in the issue.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    That is not my point. Groups like Peta complain all the time about how every captive animal is injected with antibiotics and hormones while this artificial meat HAVE TO be soaked in antibiotics and hormones because it have no fucking immune system!

  • Zuma

    Thats not entirely right. You imply that all free range cattle undergo risk of parasitic affliction. How do you know wether the antibiotics used in Factory-Farming are killing the parasites? And anyway they're telling to process farm-factory meat with heat, because the risk of parasites. it looks like they occur in factory animals too. free range meat has to be processed with heat as well to be safe.
    then with overuse of antibiotics you just promote the evolving of antibitic-resistent bacteria, what is just dangerous, then some of the parasites would be nothing in comparison to such a bacteria.

  • Reryn

    They most assuredly do. The people who want free range cattle, also want cattle without anti-biotics and/or growth hormones.

    We are talking about an animal that eats plant matter along with whatever might be on it.

    Shoot a rabbit out of season and look inside, then you will understand what I'm talking about.

    Free roam cattle without meds to prevent parasites is a huge risk to public safety and irresponsible. We have practically removed the risk of trichinosis through the use of meds and chemicals. In doing so we have gone from 10's of thousands of people dying yearly from trichinosis to something like 3.

    You don't know what you're talking about and you're out side of your element.

    Anti-biotic resistant bacteria are only a concern for isolated environments such as labs and hospitals. Useless genes are quickly discarded when unneeded which is something fox news wouldn't tell you about because it doesn't make for a sensational story. Also there are more than one type of anti-biotic for almost every bacteria out there.

    Now take you medicine and shut your cock holster.

  • Billy Rocka

    I can't wait for the pizza tree.

  • Cow

    This is the best thing ever. They should start mass producing this meat right away.

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