STOP, I'M NOT A SEAL: Anti-Shark Attack Wetsuits

July 24, 2013


This is a line of wetsuits that have been designed to confuse a shark's vision so they won't take a bite out of you. The first two are designed to make a diver 'invisible' to sharks in the water, while the third was designed to make you look like an old-timey prison inmate and not tasty. Not pictured: a fourth wetsuit with a big 'PLEASE DON'T EAT ME' print on the chest.

"It's based on new breakthrough science which is all about visionary systems for predatory sharks," Anderson said. "We've been able to interpret that science and convert that into, basically, materials that create some confusion for sharks' visual systems."

See, it turns out that sharks are colorblind. The "Elude," a blue and white wetsuit made for divers, renders you invisible in the water. Anderson said it "hide[s] you in the water column."

The "Diverter," on the other hand, is made for surfers. The black and white pattern makes you look like the opposite of what you are, like an "unpalatable food item.

You want to make sure you never get bitten by a shark? Here's what you do: never go in the ocean. Don't even go near it. Take off your shoes. Can you feel sand between your toes? If so you are TOO CLOSE. I don't even like driving by seafood restaurants.

Hit the jump for a brief video of sharks not attacking the suits.

Thanks to Paul, one third of the folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary. No? Different Paul? So you're not going to sing Puff the Magic Dragon for me is what you're saying.

  • as cool as the first ones by ?

  • Guest

    Dressing up as Beetlejuice will make anyone look like an unpalatable food item.

  • MC

    I would be less concerned with the sharks weak range of vision (estimated 20m ahead) and focus my efforts in designing something to mask my:

    Scent: Sharks smell 1 part blood in a million parts of water.
    Noise: Sharks are capable of hearing from a distance greater than 250 m.
    Electrical Stimulus: A sharks sense of electroreception.

    Shark week!

  • JJtoob

    I guess if you must swim with sharks.

  • grimbldoo

    If sharks mistook people for seals, they would go for a death bite, not a taste test.

  • Joe Ferschke

    Yeah, slap that suit on a thrashing person and then see if it will still bite the leg off them. Sharks are drawn to vibrations and smells, not sights.

  • I'll stick to my trusty anti-shark spray!

  • kevin

    Unlucky cameramen assigned to crazy Nature Documentary hosts everywhere just cried salty, bitter tears of relief.

  • DeathBotGamma

    Because a bucket of bait is so life like in the oceans.

  • Crucial

    I feel like this company has jumped the shark with this design.

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