Mr. Balls, The Terrifying Anti-Testicular Cancer Mascot
Meet Mr. Balls, the anti-testicular cancer mascot dreamed up by the Brazilian nonprofit Associação de Assistência às Pessoas com Câncer. In case you're blind and can't see the picture, he looks exactly like the kind of angry giant nuts that chase you around in nightmares. Based on what I could extrapolate from the photo gallery on the nonprofit's homepage (follow for more pictures of Mr. Balls hanging out), the mascot has been busy traveling around to various horse shows in the country, terrifying children and making little boys wish they didn't have nuts, and little girls hope they never have to see any. Did I mention Mr. Balls is actually a wearable costume? Because he is. Somebody can actually get in there and dance and wave their arms around AND WHY CAN'T IT BE ME?
Seriously though guys, check those balls out regularly. Same goes for your boobs, ladies. Early detection -- that's the key.
Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who makes me type spaces between the letters of his name now to make it look bigger than it really is, like stuffing a sock down your pants (but not down the back, that makes you look like you had an accident).