Girl Doesn't Get Asked To Prom, Takes TI-84 Calculator
Nobody asked Tumblr user ishipitlikeups to prom. So what did she do? Stay at home crying and trying to beat Contra without using the Konami code like I did? Nope -- she made a little silk tuxedo for her TI-84 calculator and took it instead. I knew I should have taken my Trapper Keeper. You see what happened was, I asked a girl to prom, but then she backed out on me after some other, much more attractive guy asked her. I got the last laugh though because now she's a successful lawyer living in London and I'm...well, apparently not getting the last laugh after all. Still, I'm surprised nobody asked this girl. Or, in a worst case scenario, why she didn't just ask ME. I would have gone with you. "Thanks, but I'll stick with the calculator." What, WHY?! I'm a cool guy, I know all the new dances. You think I can't twerp? I can twerp.
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Thanks again to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he invited a calculator to prom but then never went to pick it up on prom night. Ice cold, bro!