Another Day, Another Anti-Bruising Banana Holder

May 7, 2013


This is the Banana Bunker, a banana transportation device that prevents smashing and bruising. It's not to be confused with a banana hammock, which is what bananas relax in on the beach, or a banana bungalow, which is where bananas go when they want to get out of the sun but is really just a thinly veiled euphemism for a lover's butt that I just came up with this second. Now I know what you're thinking, "But GW -- it looks like a dildo." Congratulations, you have eyeballs, and they work. $7 gets you one in your choice of five see-thru colors and is sure to go missing if you live in house full of girls. Mine disappeared from the kitchen a couple nights ago and I just now managed to track it down to my sister's nightstand except nope this one has a cord oh God I touched it that's totally a vibrator why the hell didn't I check the dishwasher first, so this is what a life of regret feels like.

Thanks to Robby, who knows a quality banana protector when he sees one but wasn't sure what the hell he was looking at when he saw these.

  • Anna

    Good news! There's a Groupon for it today!

  • OrehRatiug

    As someone who reluctantly has to deal with bananas, the bruising damage is done long before it reaches that bunker of yours.

  • ImNoRobot

    Looks like a big dildo

  • That looks like something your mom would like.

  • Brant_Alan

    My mom keeps one of these banana holders in her nightstand. I don't know why though.

  • dougfunnay

    and it comes ribbed for her pleasure

  • Tyler AitchKay

    It looks like the new Bill Gates condom

  • Closet Nerd

    I wear a athletic cup to keep my banana from being bruised
    .....just sayin

  • Closet Nerd

    I'll use my banana to bruise the back of her throat
    ....just sayin

  • Tyler AitchKay

    That's the first time you've ever made me laugh.

  • The banana comes with a sleeve that keeps it from bruising. CHECKMATE ATHEISTS

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