You Need Help: Florida Couple Addicted To Coffee Enemas

February 11, 2013


Milk up front, coffee in the rear.

This is Trina. Trina and her husband are both addicted to buttchugging coffee. Hey Trina -- how do you like your coffee? "Up the butt." Cool, I'm probably gonna skip lunch today. Please read this entire quote:

"I started the whole debacle," Trina, who did not want to reveal her last name, told "Then it took on a life of its own. I twice tried to stop and felt worse, so I do this every day and as much as I can. But it's very time-consuming."

"I love the way it makes me feel," said Trina. "It gives me a sense of euphoria."

The couple admits they perform their caffeinated enema at least four times a day. Once, Trina said she did "nine or 10" in a 24-hour period.

Her husband Mike, 45, said he initially thought, "Oh my god, how disgusting," but then he tried it, "and now I am addicted."

...for the past two years they have been "unable to function" without their coffee enema, a ritual that takes five hours of planning and executing each day.

While she administers her enema, Trina listens to music, catches up on TV shows and tweets. "I even play Sudoku," she said.

But these enemas can be tricky: "I make a quick transition from the floor to the toilet seat," said Mike. "It comes flying out like a torrent."

AHahahahhahahahha, IT COMES OUT LIKE A TORRENT. Presumably one with a ton of seeders that's downloading at like 10MB/sec. Oh my God I'm laughing so hard. Mostly so I don't cry. Okay now I'm crying. Aaaaaand now I'm buttchugging a Capri-Sun to make myself feel better. "Wait -- WHAT?!" Relax, I was joking (it's a juice box).

Hit the jump for a segment from the show.

Thanks to Michael and Closet Nerd, who both tried to convince me smoothie enemas are the way to go.

  • I an addicted to Coffee, but i have not yet tried it as enamas. perhaps I should? Coffee has a lot of benefits, but it makes you addicted, though.

  • Eviltopia

    The hell did I just read.

  • Nick Adelman

    wow... (beside the whole java up the pooper is gross thing) what do these people do that they have time to do this?

    i hope the people he works with don't see it. i see him him getting banned from the office coffeemaker.

  • Wally

    do they want cream with their coffee?

  • She's doing it wrong.....

    The correct way is 1~2 times a day max, each with 2 cups of organic coffee then add purified water to 4~5 cups. Use filter-free machine to brew it then let it cool off to near body temperature. But the most important part is not the enema, it's the nutrition taking afterwards. If there's not enough nutrition taken after the enema, after a long term treatment, it will damage the body severely...

    Gerson Therapy, go check it out

  • gajo porreiro

    what kind of sh#%ty news do we get here now?

  • Sin Vandalize

    from other Planet,

  • CerebralZombie

    She could vaporize it to by-pass the liver.

  • Matty Spinny

    what? why do people do these things?

  • Closet Nerd

    ..... and to think, I thought it was a pain in the ass to clean out the coffee machine when I'm done
    ..... just sayin

  • disqus_wOLqFCcLiG

    What what in the butt?

  • dougfunnay in the butt

  • Closet Nerd

    "The best part of waking up.... is Folgers in your [butt]"
    ..... just sayin

  • luxlucetintenebris

    Hey GW, kick this troll to the curb already will you?

  • dougfunnay

    oh shut it already you prude that was pretty funny troll or not (and looking at his post history its clear he is...... still think it was funny)

  • Closet Nerd

    Leibowitz, "SUCK IT".... I've been coming here for YEARS
    ..... just sayin

  • Closet Butt-Pirate

    " been coming here for YEARS" you brag on this like its a good thing. kuddos for openly admitting the sadness that is your life and that coming here and trolling is the highlight of your day.

  • Closet Nerd

    Ummm it is a good thing, and I'm proud of it.
    And where the hell do you get "trolling" from?
    Just cause you don't like ".... just sayin"?
    ..... just sayin

  • Closet Nerd

    ^ and see who turned GW onto smoothie enemas
    ..... just sayin

  • Le

    You only need '...' 3 fullstops. just saying.

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