Yay For Extinction: Ancient 'Buzzsaw Mouthed' Shark

February 28, 2013


This is an artist's recreation of Helicoprion, a 270-million year old shark that roamed the ocean preying on other marine life WITH ITS FULL 360-DEGREE SPIRAL BUZZSAW OF TEETH. Now? Now it's extinct except for in our nightmares starting tonight.

"When the animal closed its mouth on prey, the spiral of sharp teeth rotated backwards, like a circular saw, and slashed through the meat," lead author Leif Tapanila, an associate professor in the Department of Geosciences at Idaho State University, told Discovery News.

No living land or sea animal directly resembles Helicoprion -- especially it's buzz-saw tooth whorl.

"It was really an improbable animal, and maybe one of the best examples of a successful 'Hopeful Monster,'" Tapanila said, explaining that this refers to evolutionary processes that can result in very unusual body types, with most doomed to failure.

Oh man, I knew a kid in middle school who had really gnarly looking teeth like that. All the other kids used to make fun of him. Me, I'm talking about me. I had really thick bottle-cap glasses too. I actually had a college girlfriend break up with me when I showed her my old yearbooks.

Hit the jump for a fossil of the spiraling teeth.


Thanks to AngryKat and Acamori, who have both successfully wrestled sharks. You can tell because they're still alive to send tips.

  • Biting your tongue would be Hell.

  • Guest

    He reminds me of my crazy uncle fish who did yard-work only with a chainsaw that he carried in his mouth.

  • jay h

    Durr' Fossils are fake an such because ummm... Jesus! Bible says so Durrr' There were no dinosaurs in the Bible Durrr'

  • Jadis

    how do they know it's teeth? It looks like a fossil of a sea shell. I think they're wrong... or trolling us.

  • Ian Swanwick

    Yeah- that just looks like an ammonite. Someone's having a little fun here methinks...

  • Matt

    That doesn't sound made up at all.

  • I'm getting a all your dino porn is being leeched by G.W. and no further malware info error. What is going on here Geekologie?!

  • balashi

    Wow, I wish I could find random, single fossils and make up animals to go along with it and then declare as fact that they existed!!

  • Serious? Pick up some books or do a little reading son. And I'm not talking about that fairy tale called the bible.

  • Acamori S.
  • I got it too. WHAT HAVE U DONE TO MY PC GW???

  • Morgan Kyle Vandermeer

    Yeah, getting a Chrome Malware warning. You might wanna look into that, GW.

  • Brant_Alan

    I got a Google "Malware warning" for Geekologie, did anyone else get that??

  • Idlethoughts

    Yeah, is it browser specific, because I can confirm safari receives it.
    The diagnostic page claims that the site never had malware detected by google, so I'm guessing this is a glitch on googles end.

  • RedShades

    Yeah, me too...

  • "Lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes..."

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