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World's Largest Captive Croc Has Left The Reptile House

rip-lolong.jpg

Wow, you folks are on THE WRONG DAMN SIDE OF THE FENCE.

Remember when Filipino villagers captured that massive saltwater crocodile back in 2011? Then they named it Lolong and it went on display at an animal park in Bunawan, where the animal was captured? Well now the 21-foot behemoth is dead, likely from chronic diarrhea caused by the stress of being around so many visitors all the time (yes, seriously). Good lord -- nobody deserves to go like that. Okay, well I wouldn't say NOBODY, but certainly not this crocodile. I could probably come up with a list of people that do though if I had to. Just kidding, I already have it right here. "Number one: my roommate Derrek." Truthfully, from the sounds I heard coming from his bathroom this morning, it may have already happened. "Well that explains the 'ROOM 4 RENT' sign." Haha, I've had that ready for months now.

Thanks to Dave S. and Girgear, who both wrote poems about Lolong that they wanted to share but I told them they couldn't because I would cry.

There are Comments.
  • Zach V

    Not sure if this news should make me feel safer that there's one less massive crocodile walking around, or sad because it's dead.

  • Closet Nerd

    What a giant croc of diarrhea
    ...... just sayin

  • Well thats cruel :\ RIP bigboi

  • H2OPoloPunk

    LOLong.. that's awesome!

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