This is the faux academic paper written by Redditor bogus_wheel's boyfriend and used to propose to her. The best part? It has a 'Please check one, YES or NO' part for her to give her response. You remember passing those kinds of notes to the girls you liked in school? I always pulled out all the stops and made them super romantic. Stuff like, "Girl, I've sat behind you for the whole semester -- your butt look so good! I like your underwear too plus one time I saw your buttcrack. Will you go out with me? Please circle one: YES NO." Then the teacher would intercept it and read it in front of the class and I'd eat lunch alone crying into my Alf lunchbox. Everybody called me Buttlover until I finally convinced my parents to move school districts.
Thanks to Joseph and devon, who both urged me to reconsider proposing with a fake book report of 'Where The Red Fern Grows'.