Ninja Robot Uses Background Noise To Sneak Around
Seen here looking suspiciously like an electric wheelchair somebody tore the seat off of and replaced with some sort of space-age vibrator, a new stealth robot prepares to infiltrate my dreams and turn them into nightmares. The robot, developed by a bunch of jerks at the CSIRO Autonomous Systems Laboratory in Australia, takes advantage of background noise to know when it can sneak around quietly and undetected.
Equipped with a camera, laser scanner, laptop computer, and a sound pressure level meter, the as yet unnamed four-wheel robot has the ability to predict how long background sounds like cell phones, vehicles, and animal calls will persist, allowing it to time its own movements and sound emissions for maximum stealth.
The robot can apply its sound calculations to subjects up to 160 feet away, and even has the ability to map terrain for shadowed areas best for hiding.
I mean, sure, but I don't care how silently it can get around -- it still sticks out like a giraffe at a hippo party. They need to make it look like a rock or something. Or -- OR -- make it look like it just exploded and is now a smoldering piece of broken shit. I vote for the second one.
Thanks to Niknak and Boomsling, who agree robots shouldn't be silent, they should have sirens and flashing lights attached so they can't sneak up on you.