Nightmare Fuel: Sea Lamprey Caught In New Jersey River

February 27, 2013


Note: Lamprey appears larger in this shot than it actually is due to the perspective, but it's still a large specimen, undoubtedly due to all the hair gel and self-tanner runoff in New Jersey's water supply.

This is the invasive sea lamprey that Redditor jlitch's friend caught while bow fishing in a New Jersey river. It looks like an alien penis, which is never a good look for anything, not even an alien penis.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots including one where it's size is obvious.



Thanks to bb and Jeremy, who are never swimming in any body of natural water again. Chlorinated pools only.

  • schyler

    it looks like an angrey penis

  • That's classified as (high end) food here in Portugal.

  • da1nonlysage

    And we're absolutely sure this thing is earth born?


  • Idlethoughts

    BURN IT ALL. We've managed to set fire to rivers before, there is no excuse for not cleansing this shit with fire.

  • jimjam

    fairly certain i seen this thing in Premetheus!!!

  • Lindsay Bertrand

    Looks exactly like the aliens in the Steven King movie "Dreamcatcher." pretty scary stuff.

  • Linda Karasz

    hahaha its the Ripley!!

  • disqus_lPeCj4SQYu

    Second ugliest vagina I have ever seen.

  • Dietrich Schnorrenberg

    what was the first....

  • da1nonlysage
  • V_Ferg

    These pics must be from last year? Last I checked its winter here and although its been pretty mild there are no leaves on trees and im def not wearing a t-shirt. So im wondering why all of a sudden did he release the pics so far from when they were taken?
    Yeah that thing is sick looking though.

  • Grue

    No. No. No. Eff that. Add puddles and all other water sources to the things I want no part of in Jersey.

  • Closet Nerd

    Like I need another reason to never go to NJ again.....
    ..... just sayin

  • kmkr

    The phrase "just sayin" is as old as the hills. Only ten year olds still use it

  • Herbaskerp

    Thing scared the crap out of me before I realized it wasn't that big. I was like THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST

  • Jadis

    it's big enough

  • cabbo

    And George RR Martin wrote 17 chapters about lamprey pie...

  • HunchHunchWhat What?

    this motherfucker shot it with a bow?

  • These photos would be classified as porn in Japan.

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