Note: Lamprey appears larger in this shot than it actually is due to the perspective, but it's still a large specimen, undoubtedly due to all the hair gel and self-tanner runoff in New Jersey's water supply.
This is the invasive sea lamprey that Redditor jlitch's friend caught while bow fishing in a New Jersey river. It looks like an alien penis, which is never a good look for anything, not even an alien penis.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots including one where it's size is obvious.
Thanks to bb and Jeremy, who are never swimming in any body of natural water again. Chlorinated pools only.