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This Will End Badly: $35 Alcohol Vaporizer Going On Sale

vaportini-1.jpg

The Vaportini is a $35 device used to vaporize alcohol, after which it can be inhaled into the lungs and the effects of intoxication felt much more quickly than traditional oral or buttchugging methods. Obviously, lawmakers are terrified a bunch of kids are going to inhale themselves to death with these things, and rightfully so, because kids are stupid and peer pressure is strong.

Normally, when a drink is taken, alcohol is absorbed 10 percent through the stomach and 85 percent in the small intestine.


The presence of food slows this process further, but when alcohol is inhaled, however, alcohol enters the lungs and goes directly into the bloodstream, causing a much more rapid and stronger buzz.

The danger of vaporized alcohol entering the bloodstream directly as opposed to the digestive system means that protective impulses - such as vomiting - are bypassed.

In fact, it is the swift infusion of alcohol to the brain that makes inhalation more addictive than regular drinking according to scientists.

I dunno, I feel like you're really bypassing the whole social aspect of drinking if you're inhaling it. I mean, who just wants to get drunk and not talk to people in the process? BWAHAHAHAHA! I drink alone in the dark.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the fancy crack pipe.

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Thanks to chaygavvara, who agrees it's only a matter of time before mainlining booze is all the rage.

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There are Comments
  • vaporizer

    buy an herbal vaporizer, since the process of vaporization is better since it does not burn the herbs and hence you are inhaling vapor and not smoke, so you can say good by to the carbon monoxide all together and good by to the nicotine ,)

    vaporizer | tobacco free cigarettes | herbal cigarettes

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  • Karl Emmanuel Sanchez Laursen

    the special offer is a Darwin award to you if you buy it in the next 30 minutes... but wait, there is more!...

  • Jumpin_Jeff_Farmer

    This is the most stupidest thing ever. Does it make people retarded too?

  • Marcel Peloquin

    Two issues with this.
    One; ethanol may irritate the capillaries in the lungs. Like fire irritate.

    Also, according to Wikipedia: An ethanol-water solution that contains 40% ABV (alcohol by volume) will catch fire if heated to about 26 °C (79 °F) and if an ignition source is applied to it.

    So, basically, it probably will explode in use with a votive candle.

  • Vincent

    The alcohol we drink (ethanol) can give lung cancer already as a beverage, and so I don't know if the creators of this contraption realise the terrible potential of this vaporizer...

  • because we look around and say there isnt enough drunk people in the world causing havoc. the only hope with this is that stupid people will kill themselves by o.d. before driving.

  • devapor

    Solo sirve para vaporizar alcohol no ?

  • chaygavvara

    Mainlining ftw

  • wan

    does it take any alcohol? can you clean it out like a bong? I need details!!!!

  • Sounds great. Save the calories and get drunk on huffing.
    Has anyone ever even seen a chick butt chug? Pics or it didn't happen.

  • Idlethoughts

    Step 1. Put it in a haunted house for a week.
    step 2. Have tons of drunk ghosts
    Step 3. ???
    Step 4. Profit!

  • Evangelos

    Alcohol inhaler... riiiiight. Looks more like a prop from Jesse Pinkman's house.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    fire and alcohol vapor....what possibly could go wrong?

  • Superabound

    I cant believe we live in a world where "buttchugging" is a real thing that actually exists. Back in my day youd get slapped if you even SUGGESTED a girl stick something in her butt, and now apparently they just jam an entire bar/medicine cabinet up there for fun at parties.

  • Well, now you can pickle up your lungs...welcome to the future!!

  • NOTALAWYERBUTIPLAYONEONTV

    I am seriously considering purchasing this. That's probably a warning sign of some sort...

  • Vincent

    The alcohol we drink (ethanol) can cause lung cancer already as a beverage, and so I believe it is not a good idea to inhale it, make some research and think about it twice ;)

  • Shoobadoowap

    everything causes cancer. I had a tumor in elementary school. Im going to huff as much alcohol as I can because I know that in todays culture, you are more likely to do die from obesity and stagnation than not eating at all, chain smoking packs of cigarettes everyday or even alcohol poisoning. :)

  • JamesHaswell

    INJECT THE GAS RIGHT INTO MY BRAIN!!!

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