Squire -- Fetch My Sneakers: Chainmail Running Shoes
These are PaleoBarefoots, a pair of minimalist chainmail shoes made for running around in the woods pretending you're on a dragon slaying mission or whatever. They're a real product you can actually buy. WHY you'd buy them is beyond me, but maybe you misused your neighbor's time machine and brought a knight of the round table to 2013 and want him to feel at home until you can return him to the 6th century when your neighbor finally goes on vacation again. "Knights didn't wear chainmail shoes." Yes they did too. Plus all the princesses wore chastity bells that would ring real loud if they ever tried to have sex before marriage. "You mean chastity BELTS?" Please, I ran the whole 'Medieval Fashion' category on Jeopardy last night, I think I know what I'm talking about. I'll take 'These Chainmail Boxers Won't Stop Pulling My Pubes Out' for $400. "It's not your turn, GW." Oh I'm sorry, what is, 'I DON'T F***ING CARE, ALEX, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A BALL OVER HERE.'
Hit the jump for several closeups.
Thanks to Christopher and Venda, who both sent me actual chain mail in addition to the tip and said if I don't forward it to at least 10 people in the next hour terrible things are going to happen to me. HA -- I'm already at rock bottom!
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Hoho, looks like this person already beat you to it, Nike. You're too slow on the draw. Also, the kick. Foot joke! Uh-oh, here comes another: Middle Toe: Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick! Big Toe: At the market, dummy. Oooooh -- is that roast beef?! ... / Continue →
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This is the $150 Dark Knight Batman hoodie from Marc Ecko. It looks... "Kinda crappy." You said it, not me. It reminds me of what a cheap knockoff of a real Batman hoodie might look like. Yeah, this is no joke. You're looking at the closest thing to taking on the role of Go... / Continue →
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These are the Adidas Star Wars Campus Wampa Sneakers, which, for a shoe, is a pretty impressive name. Granted not as impressive as Holey Flipflop Ow Shit I Think I Just Stepped On A Nail, but now I'm going to have to call my mom and see if my tetanus shot is up to date. $150 ... / Continue →
