SIGN ME UP: Company Seeks Future Mars Colonists

January 9, 2013


Note: Trip is ONE-WAY ONLY.

Remember when the Dutch nonprofit Mars One announced they wanted to put colonists on Mars by 2023? Well apparently they're following through with the plan and just released their astronaut requirements yesterday, with televised colonist selection beginning later this year. Hopefully in the style of a battle to the death.

Mars One isn't zeroing in on scientists or former fighter pilots; anyone who is at least 18 years old can apply to become a Mars colony pioneer. The most important criteria, officials say, are intelligence, good mental and physical health and dedication to the project, as astronauts will undergo eight years of training before launch.

Ahahahahahhahahha, I'm batting zero for three on those requirements. Why couldn't they have been extensive fat reserves, claustrophobia, and an unwillingness to get along with others? If that was the case I'd be the best space-adventurer there ever was. TO INFINITY AND oooooh -- is that freeze-dried ice cream?

Thanks to Dorian, who told me he was going to apply. Godspeed you magnificent bastard.

  • CynicalChristian

    The "no to the fat reserves" was due to how much it cost to lift.

  • wiley15

    I am available to go to mars

  • budechan

    how do you sign up

  • Aaron Fisher

    @GW Ohh I'm sure they'll send the fat guy with the personality disorder up after the first year to boost the ratings..

  • Brant_Alan

    I've played Doom 3 enough to know that Mars is not a safe place.

  • GizmoDuck

    I'd go, but only if I can bring my gameboy color and play pokemon most of the time

  • Idlethoughts

    Does this remind anyone of the first part of red mars?

  • ReadThemAll

    Next thing you know they're going to be training in Antartica.

  • Idlethoughts

    It is a pretty good idea, actually most of everything in that book was.

  • jjdaddyo

    I've finally figured out what to do with all those Tea-Partiers and Randian douches....

  • Idlethoughts

    We are not making the red planet red, imagine having to deal with them when we have interplanetary relations.

  • Trevor Troake

    OMG this would be AMAZING. i doubt id get picked by the global audience, not to be among the first 4 anyway, but every 2 years they send another group! i just hope i wont be too old. ill be 36 by the time the first group lands on mars. its like Sci-Fi coming true!!

  • Turbosloth

    signing up. I don't want to live on this planet any more.

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