Chart Of The Distances Traveled On Other Worlds

January 25, 2013


This is a chart depicting the distances we've traveled on worlds that aren't earth. SOMEHOW the Soviets still hold the top spot for longest distance traveled with a single vehicle. Granted it was an unmanned vehicle, but still, I'm a little disappointed in NASA.

Me: *making call* Hello, NASA?
NASA: Not you again.
Me: Listen -- there's no time to argue, put in in touch with the Mars rover Curiousity team.
NASA: Whatever. *puts me on hold*
Me: Mars rover Curiosity team? You sound like elevator music. Here's what I want you to do: crank Curiousity up to max-speed and *putting on sunglasses* PREPARE TO JUMP SOME CRATERS. I'll be damned if I'll let those Cold War vodka-swillers beat us.
NASA: Hello?
Me: Yes, I'd like one large pizza with mushrooms and black olives. For delivery.

Thanks to Tony, who made a Uranus joke in his email but I can't repeat it here because even I blushed and I never blush at anything but compliments.

  • Leo

    0.4 miles? How are we supposed to discover anything if this little turd isn't gonna leave it's comfort zone. Curiosity my ass, more like Complacent.

  • Matthew Little

    It's not there to drive around looking at mountains. It's carefully picking up everything of interest it come by and studying it. It's more like science curiosity not explorer curiosity.

  • Leo

    good point, good sir

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    I am certain that within only 0.4 miles of travel it has already seen everything it can of "interest". put the pedal to the metal and go find martians hiding off in a cave.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    maybe it has become self aware and is living by the motto "curiosity killed the cat"

  • jimmy

    Yep the rover is up there now hunting cats

  • Sabocat!

    To be fair speed limits were much faster in the 1970's

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