This is a chart depicting the distances we've traveled on worlds that aren't earth. SOMEHOW the Soviets still hold the top spot for longest distance traveled with a single vehicle. Granted it was an unmanned vehicle, but still, I'm a little disappointed in NASA.
Me: *making call* Hello, NASA?
NASA: Not you again.
Me: Listen -- there's no time to argue, put in in touch with the Mars rover Curiousity team.
NASA: Whatever. *puts me on hold*
Me: Mars rover Curiosity team? You sound like elevator music. Here's what I want you to do: crank Curiousity up to max-speed and *putting on sunglasses* PREPARE TO JUMP SOME CRATERS. I'll be damned if I'll let those Cold War vodka-swillers beat us.
Me: Yes, I'd like one large pizza with mushrooms and black olives. For delivery.
Thanks to Tony, who made a Uranus joke in his email but I can't repeat it here because even I blushed and I never blush at anything but compliments.