I Refuse To Believe: Scientists Claim It's An Impossibility To Clone Dinosaurs From Preserved DNA
In soul crushing news, scientists claim there's no chance of cloning dinosaurs from DNA found in the present day because DNA rapidly deteriorates over time, citing that even under optimal conditions every single bond in DNA is broken in less than 1/10th of the time since the most recent dinosaur extinction. :( I think I'm just gonna go back to bed.
By comparing the specimens' ages and degrees of DNA degradation, the researchers calculated that DNA has a half-life of 521 years. That means that after 521 years, half of the bonds between nucleotides in the backbone of a sample would have broken; after another 521 years half of the remaining bonds would have gone; and so on.
The team predicts that even in a bone at an ideal preservation temperature of −5 ºC, effectively every bond would be destroyed after a maximum of 6.8 million years [the last dinos roamed some 65-million years ago]. The DNA would cease to be readable much earlier -- perhaps after roughly 1.5 million years, when the remaining strands would be too short to give meaningful information.
NEW PLAN: time travel. That hasn't been ruled out as a possibility, right? I don't care if we have dinosaurs today or if I can just go visit them in the past, as long as we can still be together. Sexually -- I'm talking about sexually. "Too much information, GW." I want a foursome like in the picture!
Thanks to bison, who I almost shot extinct before remembering not to shoot the messenger. My finger really was on the trigger though. And to Jimmy H and Jeremy, who would have helped me bury the body.