Astronomers have recently verified that 55 Cancri e, a planet originally discovered in 2004, is composed mostly of carbon, at least a third of which is in the form of DIAMONDS. And it's only 40-light years away! Travel at the speed of light for 40 years and you're there. Another 40 years back to earth and getting engaged won't be such a strain on the wallet!
"This is our first glimpse of a rocky world with a fundamentally different chemistry from Earth," lead researcher Nikku Madhusudhan of Yale University said in a statement. "The surface of this planet is likely covered in graphite and diamond rather than water and granite."
So here's the plan: get drunk and forget about it. "But what about the diamond planet?!" Pfft, if it's not happening in my lifetime I don't care. "Dammit GW, that's a pretty poor attitude to have -- humanity is still going to exist after you're gone you know." GET OFF MY LAWN.
Thanks to Bria and Tickles The Randy Pangolin, who agree space diamonds are cooler than earth diamonds because, you know, space and stuff.