This is Lucihormetica luckae, a species of South American cockroach that glows using bioluminescence (like a firefly) to resemble a toxic beetle that shares the same habitat. Can't tell them apart? Squash everything that glows. Remember rubbing firefly guts on your face like glow-in-the-dark war paint as a kid? What the f*** was wrong with us? I'm just thankful these things don't live around here. I already have a roach problem, the last thing I need is a light-show on the floor to remind me. Hearing them skitter around after I turn out the lights is bad enough. Man, I should have taken a picture of the one I found in the bathtub a couple days ago. As big as my fist. No lie, at first I thought it was a cat.
Thanks to PYY, who agrees the only good roaches are the ones with a little weed still left in them.