Mother Nature You Cray: Sperm Whales Sleep Like This

Did you know sperm whales sleep like this? I did not. Well, not until this morning anyway. I could lie to you and tell you I did, but I'm trying to start a new chapter in my life that's all about being open and honest instead of drugs and alcohol. So far all I've got is "Chapter 2: This is gonna suck."

...in 2008, a team of researchers off the coast of northern Chile happened upon a pod of vertically bobbing sperm whales that seemed completely oblivious to its presence. Not a single whale responded to the team's boat until one of them was accidentally nudged, at which point it awoke and fled, along with the rest of the group. The team's findings suggest that, unlike other cetaceans, sperm whales appear to enter short, but periodic, bouts of sleep throughout the day -- an observation that Kaplan says could hint that sperm-whales are actually "the least sleep-dependent mammals known."

Man, I wanna be the "least sleep-dependent mammal known." Because I am tired ALL THE TIME. Like, I just yawned right now. I can drink four cups of coffee and still pass out at my desk. Also, not to one-up these whales or anything, but I actually sleep on a bed of nails. "No you don't." Thumbtacks? "Nope." A bed of stains and food crumbs? "Now THAT I believe." I eat in my sleep, bro.

Thanks to Jennifleur, who sleeps the terrified way: with one eye open and on the lookout for ghosts.

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