I Don't Wanna Die Like That!: Wiener-Shaped Bullets
Probably NSFW shots of the actual bullet HERE. WARNING: penis-shaped.
These are a line of entirely inappropriate 'Deep Penetration Ammo'. They're bullets that look like dongs. They're real and you can get you own custom version (maybe an even teensier replica of your own small-caliber pecker?) from the guys over at The Specialists for an undisclosed about of money. Of course, if you already own everything else in the world to the point you're buying peenor-shaped bullets, I doubt money's an issue. God, buy me a boat, @$$hole.
Thanks to my buddy Terry, who informed me "dying by peen" isn't on his list of the worst ways to go. AHAHAHAHHAHHAHA, mine either :/