Crazy Ruskie Claims Human "Immortality" By 2045

July 30, 2012


Some crazy Russian nutjob claims we'll achieve human immortality by 2045. Just...not in the way that you think. Unless you thought you'd have a holographic body controlled by your brain in a jar, in which case remind me to destroy my mind with drugs and alcohol so they can't do that to me.

The man behind the 2045 Initiative, described as a nonprofit organization, is a Russian named Dmitry Itskov. The ambitious timeline he's laid out involves creating different avatars. First a robotic copy that's controlled remotely through a brain interface. Then one in which a human brain can be transplanted at the end of life. The next could house an artificial human brain, and finally we'd have holographic avatars containing our intelligence much like the movie "Surrogates."

The project's ultimate goal is to save people from suffering and death. While there are smart experts involved, that's no guarantee that human immortality is even a goal worth pursuing. Anyone caught up in the vampire mania that's punctured popular culture has pondered whether, given a choice, you'd actually want to live forever.

Listen: anybody who thinks they want to live forever is INSANE. Forever is like, way too long to be living, even in a holographic body. Hell, I'm contemplating if I'm even going to want to continue past 60, and, truthfully, it all depends on how my dong holds out. *peeking down shorts* It's not looking good.

Thanks to Metalmusick, who plans on living forever though thrashing and headbanging and GLOWSTICKS. No? Okay no glowsticks, just the other things.

  • omgawd999

    They covered this on Eureka. Next. (although having boobs that never sag, hmmmmm Titresting.)

  • "First successful experiment of brain transplantation into an artificial body"
    Ha ok. They say "body", but what I'm hearing is "thing that looks nothing like a human body and responds with beeps."

  • MAS

    i hope i can see Goku in that year

  • ZomBBombeR

    As long as the procedure includes keeping the brain active "alive" during transfer I can see this actually working, very insane concept to actually think about it happening in reality.

  • With a 'H' on our foreheads.

  • mildiii

    Well you could be immortal, but you wont be. You will die when its your time to die. Then they will make a copy of you which will live on and nobody else will know the difference because the copy will be just like you. It will have all your thoughts an experiences and it wont seem different for anyone else. But you will be gone because your consciousness stopped and who's to say that it'll start back up in a machine?

    Or like the prestige, who is the real Wolverine?!

  • $18922249

    It is for this reason that Star Trek transporters are never to be trusted. There will be this moment just after being scanned where you will feel the most incredible and unimaginable pain as you are ripped apart atom by atom. This moment will not be included in the "image" of you, and then some schmuck who looks, acts and thinks just like you gets to go on living your life completely unaware that you are dead.

  • ZomBBombeR

    I agree with you entirely, and have felt that way since watching star trek as a kid with my parents, I never understood how they could be de then re-constructed and just go on like they just were, all it would do is re-create your brain piece by piece it cant possible re-construct memories which are essentially just electrical impulses.

  • Ed

    It's basically Ghost in the Shell but with hologram bodies instead of robots. I'd prefer some type of body that can still fuck, second choice is something that can shoot missiles and knock down walls. Holograms don't seem fit for either, but maybe a good place to wait it out until those are invented.

  • iamn0one

    OLD... this was achieved 2000 years ago.

  • Dom Barlow

    Eh, who wants to live forever?

    Also, Hologram Body? So... what this Russian gentleman has in fact predicted is Arnold J. Rimmer. What a Shmeeeeeee...

  • Silly Russians, don't you know the world is going to end on 12/21/12??

  • Guest

    Or the day after tomorrow.

  • $18922249

    What an incredible curse that would be. There is a beauty and balance to our lifespan, and it is this beauty and balance that gives rise to love and meaning.

    I am a staunch atheist and I very much look forward to ageing and dying in relative peace, even if that means death by disease or trauma. To each their own, but be careful for what you wish.

  • When I die, I will see the truth and accept it. I don't believe anything religious-wise, but if I could expand my lifespan, if I wanted to at the time, then I would. Later on, if I wished to pass on, I would. You see it as a curse, others see it as a cure.

  • $18922249

    I think that there is a significant difference between extending one's lifespan and uncoupling oneself from the natural progression of life and death. I don't think that most people would or could understand going into an indefinite life the vast loneliness that will come with that. The end result for many will essentially be unnoticed suicide brought on by boredom and sadness.

    I am pretty sure that I will not be ready to die when death comes for me, but I would rather be ill prepared than over prepared. I want to have something to lose when I die. I like the idea of being sad that I will miss out on my family and their progression and that I will miss out on the future, but that this bitterness will be tempered by the sweetness of a good life lived well with those that I love and love me. Having nothing to lose just before death seems incredibly sad to me.

    I just think that a lot of people are going to too quickly confuse quantity with quality and miss out on the good stuff. My two pennies.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    33 years from now - Shut up and take my money!

  • Guest

    That sounds pretty good, however they might find it interesting to go about the testing phase. Good luck with those cadabras .

    In the mean time I will be going through town on a giant spider robot.

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