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Chinese Villagers Find Exotic Mushroom While Digging Well, Turns Out To Be Discarded Male Pleasure Device

magic-mushroom-for-men.jpg

Chinese villagers in Liucunbu stumbled across a strange mushroom while digging a new well and managed to keep it alive in a bucket of water until reporters were able to show up. At no time during the whole ordeal did anyone realize it was rubber and there was a fake vagina on one end and b-hole on the other. Crazy, I know, but who the hell buries their fake vagina in the first place? Somebody who's finally getting the real thing -- that's who! High-five, villager.

"As we can all see, this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you'll find mushroom heads," said the reporter.


"On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips. And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side. The object looks very shiny, and it feels very fleshy and meaty too."

Now I'm not saying these people are obviously sexually oppressed, but come on -- I can recognize a male pleasure device from a mile away, IN THE FOG. Hell, I can see my roommate's Avatar Fleshlight right now through two concrete walls and his nightstand drawer. Haha, suck it, Derek -- drink the last of my chocolate milk again!

Hit the jump for the video news report, which may be NSFW depending on if your superiors know a fake vagina when they see one.

Thanks to Iansideout and UPGRAYEDD, who found a dildo and thought it was a magic wand so they can't really make fun.

There are Comments.
  • Adam

    Pretty funny, considering it to be a mushroom

  • Azariel_z

    I saw this on Kotaku days ago, pretty funny ...

  • A week or so after moving into the house I bought, I was digging around in the garden, when I noticed part of a plastic bag sticking out from a mound of dirt between a flower bed wall and the rear fence. Thinking that it was odd as the previous owners had left the house in a very tidy state, I dug it up.
    At first I thought it was going to be something awesome like money or drugs. Then I thought it could be discarded crabshells, as there were some very well aged signs of their boating hauls.

    I eventually carefully opened it, to find that it was a number of porn magazines.

    Someone, one of the previous owners, their offspring, or someone mysterious, had buried porn magazines.

    I still have them, because they were decent ones.

    Winning!

  • Azariel_z

    If they are Vintage then , you are really lucky...
    I still remember back on the 80's , I was a teen and walking outside I found a box FULL , I am not kidding, FULL of magazines ( remember kids, way before VHS, PC, Internet and Ipad's ..that was all you had ) Quality ones.. Sadly my mom and Step father were also walking with me, they quickly "handled the case" Hiding the box somewhere I could find... Oh the good times. :-DDD

  • I feel like some poor bastard saw this news report and went, "Oh fuck me, they went digging thereā€½"

  • Sean Shumard

    stupid people bread? stupid horny people bread like crazy? even more stupid people post comments without spell checking the word "breed"

  • Carlos V. Quevedo

    I'm surprised they didn't try and eat it.

  • Wash.

    Your.

    Hands!

  • Not one person in the villiage, news crew, or TV station had any idea at all what this was? And I thought the U.S. was sexually repressed. Jeebus.

  • Jason Ephraim

    How are they the most populated country?

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    @ 0:47 that guy is sitting there looking at it in deep thought....

    "I bet I could fuck that. If these people would just leave I am going to bang this mushroom."

  • oni099

    Fact! stupid people bread, Fact! stupid horny people bread like crazy! =D

  • Fact. Stupid people spell "breed" wrong.

  • Jason Ephraim

    Really hope nobody gets hungry. Although, they'll probably claim this "mushroom" as medicinal/good for the libido........

  • right? this is absurd. LOL

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