Chinese villagers in Liucunbu stumbled across a strange mushroom while digging a new well and managed to keep it alive in a bucket of water until reporters were able to show up. At no time during the whole ordeal did anyone realize it was rubber and there was a fake vagina on one end and b-hole on the other. Crazy, I know, but who the hell buries their fake vagina in the first place? Somebody who's finally getting the real thing -- that's who! High-five, villager.
"As we can all see, this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you'll find mushroom heads," said the reporter.
"On this side, you can see what looks like a pair of lips. And on that side, there is a tiny hole which extends all the way back to this side. The object looks very shiny, and it feels very fleshy and meaty too."
Now I'm not saying these people are obviously sexually oppressed, but come on -- I can recognize a male pleasure device from a mile away, IN THE FOG. Hell, I can see my roommate's Avatar Fleshlight right now through two concrete walls and his nightstand drawer. Haha, suck it, Derek -- drink the last of my chocolate milk again!
Hit the jump for the video news report, which may be NSFW depending on if your superiors know a fake vagina when they see one.
Thanks to Iansideout and UPGRAYEDD, who found a dildo and thought it was a magic wand so they can't really make fun.