Smell Like A Bar, DOWN THERE: Whiskey Flavored Lube
This is an actual whiskey flavored lube from the gluttons over at Epic Meal Time. Apparently they're convinced whiskey is a desirable smell to have smeared all over your privates. SPOILER: It's not. Unless you're in a relationship with another manly dude (I'm thinking a gay biker/bear type here), chances are your lover doesn't want your junk smelling like f***ing whiskey. Piña colada, absolutely, but only because piña colada is the best smell in the world, especially for car air fresheners.
Thanks to everyone who sent me this. And an extra special thanks to everybody who didn't.