What The -- I'd Be Sending A Thank-You: Man Sues BMW Claiming Motorcycle Ride Gave Him 20-Month Erection
Picture unrelated: not the same bike.
Henry Wolf went on a four-hour motorcycle ride in September 2010 and claims he's had a constant erection ever since. Gee, maybe you have a thing for motorcycles -- you ever think about that? But now Mr. Wolf has hired a lawyer (read: boner chaser) and is suing BMW and the manufacturer of the seat (Corbin-Pacific) for damages because he's been left "unable to engage in sexual activities." What the?! Isn't a boner actually THE ONE THING YOU DO NEED to engage in sexual activities? You can't go blaming BMW for being socially awkward.
Thanks to FloorMatt and Michael-C, who heard through the grapevine that motorcycles give me boners too but you won't hear me complaining about it unless this dude actually wins in which case OW OW OW MY EYE.