What The -- I'd Be Sending A Thank-You: Man Sues BMW Claiming Motorcycle Ride Gave Him 20-Month Erection

May 1, 2012


Picture unrelated: not the same bike.

Henry Wolf went on a four-hour motorcycle ride in September 2010 and claims he's had a constant erection ever since. Gee, maybe you have a thing for motorcycles -- you ever think about that? But now Mr. Wolf has hired a lawyer (read: boner chaser) and is suing BMW and the manufacturer of the seat (Corbin-Pacific) for damages because he's been left "unable to engage in sexual activities." What the?! Isn't a boner actually THE ONE THING YOU DO NEED to engage in sexual activities? You can't go blaming BMW for being socially awkward.

Thanks to FloorMatt and Michael-C, who heard through the grapevine that motorcycles give me boners too but you won't hear me complaining about it unless this dude actually wins in which case OW OW OW MY EYE.

  • Hilarious

  • PeteFD

    Yeah, no. A priapism that long in duration would have caused almost immediate damage -  like, necrotic penile tissue as a result. Google "priapism surgery", you will see the extent of the damage from just a short bit of that. His wang would have ruptured!...lol

  •  So, no more Daddy/Daughter dances or playing Santa Claus for him!

  • Azariel_z

    sniff sniff..viral marketing...

  • $18922249

    All anyone really wants is somewhere to hang their hat. 

  • Shaun9lives

    I can't believe any lawyer would take this case. He must be doing it pro boner.

  • This_Update_Sucks

    Hellooo?? "Mr. Wolf?" That kinda comes with the name. Hasn't he seen Looney Tunes?

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