In a heartbreaking new discovery, scientists studying the fossilized remains of a pliosaurus (a marine reptile, not actually a traditional dino) found evidence of a degenerative bone condition similar to modern arthritis. Wow -- first arthritis, then mass extinction? *shaking fist at the heavens* But they were so sexy, God!
Marks on the bones showed it continued to feed despite the condition, but the jaw weakened and eventually broke, with fatal consequences.
Dr Sassoon said: "In the same way that aging humans develop arthritic hips, this old lady developed an arthritic jaw, and survived with her disability for some time.
"But an unhealed fracture on the jaw indicates that at some time the jaw weakened and eventually broke. With a broken jaw, the pliosaur would not have been able to feed and that final accident probably led to her demise."
As tipster ShabbyOrange pointed out in his email, this is terrible news for time-travelers hoping to go back and experience a little prehistoric HJ action. Me, guys -- I'm talking about me. I swear, this is even worse than the time I found out dinosaurs didn't have tits. I just...I'll be in bed if you need me.
Thanks to ShabbyOrange, who, listen: I know I'm not supposed to shoot the messenger, but I'm really angry right now I'm still gonna throw a rock at you, k?