This is a 5-hour, 35-minute speedrun through Diablo 3 performed by a friend of Geekologie reader Newborn (and you can already type? Your parents must be so proud!) and three other players. Have no intentions of ever playing the game? Just take the rest of the afternoon off and watch the video so you can pretend you have. Don't even want to put in that much effort? Just keep reading for the end of game spoilers: all the players go to heaven where they're greeted by big-tittied angels pouring fresh-squeezed lemonade. "You didn't watch it, did you?" F*** no, I'm trying to make it to the bar by noon today.
Hit the jump for the congratulations, you paid over $10 for each hour of gameplay.
Thanks to Newborn, who's first word was Geekologie -- true story.