Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock, Texas (a nude/topless maid service) is drawing criticism because people are running out of things to complain about. Next up: Raisin Bran -- NO F***ING WAY THAT WAS TWO SCOOPS, MAN! For $100/hour ($150/hour for two ladies), homely looking maids will clean your house au naturale and probably do a terrible job. But who am I to judge? I'm just a man that used to run his own Speedo carwash who would spend 10-minutes rubbing his junk on your driver-side window before sending you off still covered in soap suds.
Owner Melissa Borrett, 26, said Tuesday night that she started the service in mid-February because she was struggling to make ends meet as a waitress.
Most of her clients are men, but she said anyone can hire her service. She pointed out that "nothing comes off" for clients who are under 18.
Lubbock police Sgt. Jonathan Stewart told the Associated Press that Borrett doesn't have a permit to operate a sexually oriented business. Officers are watching for any violation, which would bring a $2,000 fine.
"My business doesn't necessarily qualify as a sexually oriented business just because the clothes are coming off," she said. "The maids are not performers, they're maids."
To ensure the maids' safety, Borrett told KCBD TV that her workers have security [read: a boyfriend raiding your fridge] present during each cleaning appointment.
Nothing comes off for clients under 18? How do you even HAVE clients under 18? $100 to a teenager is like a million dollars. What, is everybody in Texas an oil tycoon? Because *eying maid pictures* they're definitely not all beauty pageant winners. "GW!" Oh I'm sorry, but I'm one of the last remaining knights of the KEEPIN' IT REAL table. There's seriously only like three of us left.
Official Site (with a discount for law enforcement!)
Nude Maid Service Draws Police Scrutiny in Texas City [abcnews]
Thanks to daniel, who cleans house the arsonist's way: burning that mother to the ground.