GRILL IIIIIIIIIIT!: Exquisitely Preserved Woolly Mammoth
Retroactive warning: deflated-looking woolly mammoth carcass.
This is Yuka, an exquisitely preserved woolly mammoth carcass recently discovered in Siberia. As you can see, it still has its foot pads and a decent amount of its fur. Maybe even enough to make a decent Wookie costume. "I want an Ewok costume." Ugh, I already told you -- you're too f***ing tall to play an Ewok!
"Already there is dramatic evidence of a life-and-death struggle between Yuka and some top predator, probably a lion," leading mammoth expert, Daniel Fisher, told the BBC.
"Even more interesting, there are hints that humans may have taken over the kill at an early stage."
Researchers have yet to determine if these hints -- which include missing bones, serrated markings on Yuka's right flank, and a long, straight cut running down the mammoth's back -- were left by humans over ten thousand years ago, or by the tusk-hunters who discovered the specimen in Russia.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Steal the carcass and make a mammoth skin rug for your top-secret lair?"
What the -- how did you know about about my top-secret lair?!
"You talk about it all the time."
YOU TRICK ME WHEN I'M DRUNK.
Thanks to jacob, who's already on the way to the grocery store for like 200-pounds of lemon butter.