GirlfriendHire.com: Hire A Pretend Girlfriend To Text/Facebook/Do Your Homework For Only $5!
GirlfriendHire.com is a website that allows you to hire girls to pretend to be your girlfriend via text/Facebook, do your homework, give relationship advice, ooooooooor tell you how to grow your peenor, all for the low, low price of $5. Shit, for $5 I'll do your homework for you. Granted it'll all be wrong and contain enough sexual innuendos to get you suspended, but I'll do it. For a video of me in a bikini summarizing Battlestar Galactica like that one dude wants though -- $5 ain't gonna cut it. That's gonna cost you at LEAST $10 and you'll have to cover my bikini wax on top of it. And not some Groupon to a sketchy salon in a strip mall either. *eying stubble* I'VE BEEN BURNED BEFORE.
Thanks to Todd, who claims he's actually used their services before and AHAHAHAHAHAHA -- now everybody point and laugh.