Counting Sheep? Pleaaaaase, I'm F***ing BLASTING Them: A 105 Gun Capacity Under-The-Bed Gun Locker
Quick, there's a creeper by the window! Shoot EVERYTHING.
This is the BedBunker, an under-the-mattress gun safe capable of holding 35 rifles and 70 handguns. That...is enough for a small militia. Unfortunately that's not a big enough bed for a small militia, so you're gonna need at least another queen to sleep everybody comfortably. The California King model (with the 105 gun capacity) runs $4,200, and weighs 1,500-lbs empty, so it's not the kind of box-spring you can just strap to the top of your car when you want to move. Not thinking about overthrowing the government? No problem, the BedBunker is available in sizes down to a 650-lb twin for $2,200 that only holds like 40 guns. Me? I want one that can hold a tank AND fighter jet. Fortunately, I don't have any kids so I like to just hide my weapons throughout the house. I even found one in a cereal box this morning. "You thought it was a prize didn't you?" I was all, OMG, General Mills is THE SHIT.
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Thanks to Clint, who just started sleeping with a gun under his pillow because he's convinced there's a ghost that tries stealing his covers whenever he falls asleep.