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T-Rex Had The Strongest Bite In The History Of Bites

t-rex-jaws.jpg

Seen here trying to swallow a dildo, the t-rex allegedly had the strongest bite of any species in the history of earth. Me? I had the strongest underbite until I got braces. "HAHA -- brace face!" That was a long time ago, I don't have them anymore. "Then what's that?" IT'S CALLED A RETAINER.

Previous estimates of the prehistoric predator's bite suggested it was much more modest - comparable to modern predators such as alligators.


This measurement, based on a laser scan of a T. rex skull, showed that its bite was equivalent to three tonnes - about the weight of an elephant.

"We digitised the skull with a laser scanner, so we had a 3-D model of the skull on our computer," Dr Bates explained.

"Then we could map the muscles onto that skull."

"Those [simulated] muscles closed the jaw as they would in life and... we measured the force when the teeth hit each other," Dr Bates explained to BBC Nature.

Damn -- it could bite with the force of being sat on by an elephant? That...seems pretty strong. Definitely not the kind of lover you want munching on your privates. "I don't want any kind of lover munching on my privates." What if it was like, a sexy little velociraptor? "You're the only one into dinos here, GW." Am I? (Unanimously) "YES." Wow -- you're all a bunch of prudes, you know that?

T. rex bite was world's strongest [bbcnews]

Thanks to MannaFromKevin, who who apparently radiates manna. Definitely the kind of guy you want on your squad in an MMORPG.

There are Comments.
  • Grindzombie

    "Seen here trying to swallow a dildo" Made me spit my proverbial coffee all over my actual monitor.

  • Megaladon had nothing on Dunkleosteus. 8000 lbs/sq inch bite force. Armor plated skull. The only thing that ever lived that was strong enough to puncture Dunkleosteus' armor was Dunkleosteus.

  • The_didact

    I think you must mean land animal...because there's big things in the ocean....megalodon says hi.

  • Guest

    The strongest "om nom nom nom" evah? That obviously makes the eats even easier to munch on.

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