Dead-On Annihilator Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tool
This is the $40 Dead-On Annihilator Superhammer, a zombie apocalypse survival tool that looks like a cross between a hammer, crowbar and
robot dildo railroad spike. But oh no -- IT'S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Kidding, just a little bit more.
It makes a wicked anti-zombie device.
The spike mounted at the bottom can pierce the skull of a walker like a spork through pudding. The claw is just the right size to lodge in a fetid rotting eye-socket, and the sharpened edge behind the handle is just sharp enough to remove a virulent biting head from a shambling corpse.
Demolition axe rips through dry wall, shingles, strips conduit, beheads zombies *
Chisel smashes through tile, brick, concrete, skulls *
Precise balance means you won't get tired wielding it
Meh, I can think of a bunch of other things I'd rather be wielding when faced with the undead, but I guess it's not the worst option. That said, I just ordered ten of them. To give away as presents to friends. The cards are gonna read, "You're on your f***ing own, dickbag!"
Hit the jump for a couple more product shots and a link to the ThinkGeek product page.
Thanks to snowman and Jake, who agree you only need one tool to survive the zombie apocalypse: a functional spaceship.