Inb4 don't mind me, just dropping some tweets off at the bird-bath or whatever.
Because this is the world we live in (I want out, STAT), Shitter will print four rolls of TP with the Twitter feed of your choice for $35. That's close to $9 a roll. You could almost wipe with dollar bills for cheaper. But boy will your friends get a laugh when the come over to stink up your bathroom! No, no they won't. They'll come out after not washing their hands and ask how much you paid for the novelty toilet paper. You'll tell them $35 for 4 rolls and then they'll call you F***ING DUMB and then go back to pee on the floor beside the toilet like you deserve to have happen. That said, I don't wipe with Twitter feeds, I wipe with Facebook profiles. In your face, girl that called me four-eyes in middle school! You are looking DUMPY.
Twitter Toilet Paper: Sh*tter Prints Your Twitter Feed On A Roll Of TP [huffingtonpost]
Thanks to Dave and marcus, who wipe the way t-rex's do. "Rubbing their ass on a tree?" I said t-rex's, not bears.