27-year old Meredith Lowell had a plan. A plan of hiring a hitman on Facebook to stab somebody to death wearing fur at a public library, then she'd swoop in and immediately start passing out animal rights propaganda. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work. No word if she's ever heard of LinkedIn.
An undercover FBI agent then contacted her, posing as a hit man after the agency subpoenaed Facebook to uncover details about her profile.
She then allegedly requested that the murder take place at a local library and that she be present so that she could then hand out documents about animal cruelty after the homicide.
"Bring a sharp knife that is at least 4 inches long, it should be sharp enough to stab someone with and/or to slit their throat to kill them," Lowell allegedly wrote in an e-mail, according to the affidavit.
The individual should be at least 12 years old, but "preferably 14 years or older," Lowell allegedly wrote.
"I want the person dead in less than 2 minutes (under 2 minutes or 1 minute or less would be better.)"
You should never hire a 12-year old hitman aside, I meet a lot of crazy people on the bus, but this girl blows them all out of the water. I mean, how does somebody get so wildly adamant about a cause that they're willing to solicit murder? "Maybe she was raised by foxes." You...are a genius.
Thanks to Evil Ares, who's so evil he was once hired as a hitman, then immediately shot the person who hired him.