This is the Japanese Face Slimmer, a $50 (FIFTY DOLLARS?!??!!1) piece of plastic you jam in your mouth to look like a lovedoll. You're supposed to wear it while reciting the vowel sounds of the alphabet three times a minute, twice a day. And that...that's supposed to make your face slimmer. Granted it won't work, but none of these things do. You want to slim down your face? Here's what you do: choke yourself while your food's digesting so none of fat can travel up to your face. Simple! "I'm sorry, GW, but I'm pretty sure this is some sort of sex toy." It might be, the product site's in Japanese!
Get Perfect Duck Lips With The Face Slimmer [incrediblethings]
Thanks to bb, who's convinced laughing is the best face exercise. Really? I heard it was standing in front of a fan so you sound like Darth Vader.
SHAVE THAT NECK HAIR I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT.
Japanese beauty product manufacturers, thoroughly convinced people actually believe something that jiggles can tone and tighten muscles, are back at it, this time with the 'Facial Lift At Once'. WTF is a Facial Lift At Once? I... / Continue →
I'm pretty sure that's an animal's penis.
You know what the problem with touchscreens are? Nothing. Well, except when you want to use one in the bathtub but can't because your hands are all wet from playing submarine penis hunter or whatever.
I sometimes use my touchphone ... / Continue →
Look in the mirror. Now dig out those eye crusties. Look again. Got a witch's nose? MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP PRACTICING BLACK MAGIC. Or buy a $140 'Omni Beauty Lift High Nose' nose straightener (AND lifter!). Soon nobody will even be able to tell you're half Jewish! *whistl... / Continue →