This is a pair of Mario Piranha Plant earrings from Etsy seller Lizglizz (not to be confused with Les Glass, the patriarch of J.D. Salinger's fictional Glass family. I know -- I was lost for a second too). They look like they're biting your lobes, but they're really not -- there's actually a post hidden in their mouths. Pretty clever, right? I thought so. Like the ice cream I invented that doesn't melt. Try a scoop? "Mmmm, this is really good!" It's also really poisoned, I want $1-million in unmarked bills or you can kiss the antidote goodbye. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention -- this is just soooooo good." Ugh, this is why you're fat. I said you're gonna die. "Can I have another scoop?" F*** it, HAVE IT ALL.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to Liz's Etsy page.
Thanks to the TOASTer, who will burn your bread if you're not careful. GAAAAAAH, you ruined the most important meal of my day! PREPARE TO EAT FORK.