Ever wanted to smell like a sweaty robotic suit? No? What about a melting pot? A giant green ogre? Ozone? Me neither. But that isn't stopping JADS (think nads but with a j) International (of Star Trek cologne fame) from developing a line of Avengers colognes based on Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk and Thor. They're just the thing you need to smell nothing like you're favorite superhero. Get it? Because Batman is everybody's favorite. "Nope -- Doctor Strange all the way!" Ha, of COURSE he is. You are so f***ing weird.
Hit the jump for the highly questionable descriptions of each scent.
A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard working average Joe in every man. PATRIOT Cologne is both reserved and sexy; like a symbol on a shield or a moniker on a motorcycle helmet. Fresh notes of green lime and white pepper are the first to hit with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords finishing the adventure. Perfect for any time or place, PATRIOT Cologne puts the Novus Mundus in your strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover.
Mark VII Cologne
A resolutely sophisticated cologne forged from the sea, the sun, the earth, and a touch of devil-may-care whimsy. Transparent, aromatic, and modern in nature, Mark VII combines mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli to create a contemporary expression of "I don't play well with others" confidence; leaving you always ready for whatever a genius, billionaire, playboy-philanthropist might encounter along the way.
Very unusual and rare materials have been brought together to create a woody aquatic cologne evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life. Yuzu, bergamot and tarragon create clean, clear top notes along with unexpected accords of water lily and nutmeg. SMASH! then carries an intense woody drydown enriched with Indian sandalwood, vetiver, musk and sharp cedar. Complimentary to a full range of emotions, it wears well no matter where--at work, the lab or an evening out on the town.
This woody citrus cologne is a unique, meaningful combination of bergamot, frozen ginger and wheatgrass blended with a hint of fresh natural grapefruit and layered deeply with aromatic cypress. Basenotes are possessed with sensual, seductive tones of dark amber and cedarwood, protecting and enhancing a deep, dry masculine (dare we say almost God-like?) musk.
Official Site (with bonus Slave Leia and Lando Calrissian scents!)
FINALLY You Can Smell Like An Avenger While Celebrating Chinese New Year [nerdbastards]
Thanks to Vaticat and sara, who both agree there's nothing worse than being stuck in an elevator with somebody wearing too much cologne. Really? Because I can think of a million things worse. Including, and not just limited to: being trapped in an elevator with someone shitting on the floor.