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Maybe Skyrim In Real Life Isn't So Cool After All

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Seen here about to fail hard, 37-year old "warrior" David Millington prepares to wage battle on an enemy he's held a grudge against for 30 years. Wait -- since you were seven?! Jesus, he wiped a booger on your arm, bro -- let it go.

This is the astonishing moment a crazed attacker stormed into a supermarket armed with an arsenal of knives including a hockey stick with a blade on the end as oblivious punters carried on their shopping.


Described as looking like a 'warrior', Wolverhampton Crown Court heard how David Millington, 37, went into Morrisons in a suburb of Wolverhampton last March wearing a tool belt containing five kitchen knives and a makeshift shield.

Millington then chased security guard Andrew Osbourne, who he lived close to as a youngster and reportedly has a 30-year grudge against, through the store before being tackled to the ground by brave manager Michael Walsh.

First of all, that's not a shield. Not even a MAKESHIFT one. That's a piece of foamboard with a belt taped to it. Secondly, I can't believe his mom let him leave the house with her good knives. Lastly, Millington was ruled unfit to stand trail and ordered to be treated in a mental hospital because he's a little cray-cray. Gee, you think? He had 30 years to plot revenge and this was his plan A.

Moment crazed 'warrior' enters supermarket armed with five kitchen knives, improvised axe and makeshift shield [dailymail]

Thanks to Seb, who agrees in 30 years you could have at least ordered something from ACME.

There are Comments.
  • Skyrim wasn't even out last March... 0_o. lol.

  • Guest

    He didn't need to bring all of that with him....even a pencil to the eye can kill a guy.

  • Living in Wolverhampton is enough to make anyone end up in Broadmoor.

  • Michael Clinton

    Anyone else find it funny that the security guard being attacked was saved by the store manager?

  • I used to be an adventurer, then I took a knifey hockeystick to the knee.

  • wonder what his plan B was...

  • zakany

    LOL at the Society for Creative Anachronism. Go LARP in the woods, fairy.

  • That's not a hockey stick.

  • It is too a hockey stick!
    I played enough hockey at school to recognise one - with or without a knife taped to it.

  • shmalzers

    its a field hockey stick.

  • Everyone else calls it Lacrosse.

  • shmalzers

    fieldhockey.ca vs. lacrosse.ca 

    no they don't. get your sports right. 

  • Emmitt Morgans

    Yeah, that's gotta be the crappiest hockey stick I've ever seen!  Oh, you weren't talking about the fact that there's a knife on the end of whatever it is... gotcha...

    He also doesn't look like a warrior, he just looks like a crazy.

  • Eh, it's hard not to be desensitized to these things. Everyone in the world is trying to kill eachother. It's a pretty messed up scary place.

    Now...if some dude gets caught with a trebuchet in some parking lot, THEN I'd be interested. Or at least entertained.

  • kevin todd

    Hehe silly.

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