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Doomsday Clock Inches A Minute Closer To Midnight

January 11, 2012 / atomic weapons, bring it!, don't you even think about it ruskies!, doomsday, i'm ready!, it's the end of the world as we know it (and i feel piss-poor as usual), missiles, nuclear, one time i nuked a hotdog in the microwave and burnt my mouth, take me first!, the apocalypse nears, war, we're all gonna die

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Because humanity is determined to have an apocalypse this year one way or another, scientists have moved the nuclear doomsday clock forward a minute to 11:55. Quick -- we should probably make out while there's still time! "No way, you smell like booze." Yeah but you're uuuuugly.

"It is five minutes to midnight. Two years ago [when the clock was reversed to 6-minutes to midnight], it appeared that world leaders might address the truly global threats that we face. In many cases, that trend has not continued or been reversed. For that reason, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is moving the clock hand one minute closer to midnight, back to its time in 2007."

So yeah, apparently world leaders aren't addressing global threats and that's why they moved it forward. Or -- OR -- was it because the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell got my order wrong and I threatened "to blow this shithole planet up like Alderaan"? I was honking my horn and yelling, people might've heard!

Doomsday Clock moves 1 minute closer to catastrophe [cnet]

Thanks to sam, Patrick88 and Karen, who don't care when the world ends as long as they get 24 hours notice. Me? Four hours and a stomach full of boner pills.

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There are Comments

  • " was it because the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell got my order wrong
    and I threatened "to blow this shithole planet up like Alderaan"? I was honking my horn and yelling, people might've heard!"
    ROFL
    i think i love you

  • Before I saw the article about this last year, I always thought that the Doomsday Clock was something that Alan Moore invented for The Watchmen.

  • NoveltyFishHead

    The only real threat to the world tHis year is SOPA ... Our virtual world at risk of being destroid if this passes.

  • WWhy don't these assholes just move the hands back and save everybody? It's a creaking doomsday clock! Why keep nudging it closer to doomsday?

  • patrick kuntz

    wow this is just fail 
    i'm sorry but this whole doomday thing is a big hoax and all it's going to cause if anything is MASS suicide/deaths
    and seriously you really think that people who died off a long ass time ago know the time that we are all going to die 

  • Who honestly gives a shit?

  • This_Update_Sucks

    Do they have to set the Doomsday Clock for Daylight Savings?

  • NoveltyFishHead

    I wonder if leap years has any affect to it too...

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